"With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments." ~Psalm 119:10

Monday, March 19, 2012

God is Good No Matter What

This week it has been hard to remember that. Saturday morning I wanted to start my day right. I woke up at 7:00am, did devotions, worked out, then went out for a jog a little after 8:00am. It felt great. As I ran I was planning my day out in my head; have breakfast, enjoy the outdoors, go horseback riding, maybe go shopping....yes. It was going to be an enjoyable relaxing Saturday. Then it happened. Only about two blocks into my jog something suddenly popped in my back and there was a sharp pain like a knife jabbing me in the middle of my back. Instantly I stopped. It hurt to breathe. I slowly turned around and carefully walked home. Thanking God that I could still walk okay and that I was only two blocks from home.

About two hours later I was at the chiropractor. (thankfully they had an opening that morning!) I had a dislocated rib. Ouch. He was able to pop it back in, but said that the muscles and ligaments are damaged and will take awhile to heal. He said it's similar to a sprained ankle, but it's on my back. Pretty much all of Saturday I went between laying on my heating pad, to walking around slowly (which is supposed to help), and back to the heating pad. Sunday morning was worse, but then it got better in the afternoon. Today was pretty good, but then I did something to it this afternoon and it's all stiff and sore again. Also, I usually sleep on my side, and I can't now, so I haven't slept very well since it happened. 

Did God allow this to happen for a reason? Yep. Until now, I didn't realize how little I depended on the Lord for my joy and peace. If I wasn't feeling very joyful or at peace, I would go horseback riding, or shopping, or do some hard work to get my mind off of it. I can't do any of those things now, and the Lord has been using it to show me that no matter what is happening, I need to rely on Him and Him alone for my joy and peace. I must live my life for Christ! My life should revolve around Him, not me. It is hard to have pain and not be able to do much. It is hard not to be able to sleep restfully. It's hard to be pretty much exhausted, and yet know that there's a good chance I won't be able to sleep much tonight. (Of course, the Lord could allow me to sleep fine tonight, that is totally up to Him.) But I'm glad it happened, because it has shown me how much I rely on my health, and the things of this world for my happiness. I must live joyfully for Christ alone no matter what happens! God is so good! And His plan is always so much better than ours!

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